I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
