I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
