and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
