this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
