Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
