i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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