It's Friday. Sex?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
