I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
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He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
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apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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