she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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