Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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