Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize