you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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