woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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