I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
