I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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