My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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