Cold hands, warm shart.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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