May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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