Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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