Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am midnight drunk by noon
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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