I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
