Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
