Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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