my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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