I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
my nose is crying tears of wow.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
