Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
