She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
