I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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