Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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