i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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