So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The air taste purple.
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