just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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