I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
