you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
