Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize