he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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