I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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