If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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