good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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