I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
