i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
