When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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