It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
