Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
