Dual....:-)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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