I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
