Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
