In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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