she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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