She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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