Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
