Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Barsexuality is the new black.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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