Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
