I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
