why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I need a beard to bite.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
