On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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