She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize