so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
