my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
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And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
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I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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