yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
