What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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