Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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