Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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