Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
