Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
