And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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